Ryan Lochte: JEAH?

If you want to pee your pants laughing today, please read this article about how Ryan Lochte is America’s sexiest douchebag. I cannot stop giggling. Apparently his catchphrase is “JEAH!” Just picture him saying that. Can’t. Stop. Giggling.

Of course, Ryan Lochte is extremely good looking (understatement of the year), which covers a whole host of sins. In fact, a lot of the Olympians this year are very attractive. Or maybe it’s just my raging hormones now that I’m the ripe old age of 25. Hard to say. I mean, come on – just look at Giuseppe Lanzone:

Guiseppe Lanzone

Um, yeah. I didn’t think any of you ladies were going to argue with me, but I totally won that argument.

[Sidebar: I sort of know him. It’s a very tenuous, not legitimate six-degrees-of-separation situation. But we’re basically BFF. If I told you the rest I’d have to kill you. End of sidebar.]

Regardless of how hot a guy is, there’s a certain line that every lady will draw in the metaphorical sand about what she’s willing to put up with. For example, I’m willing to put up with a guy who drives too fast (I’m from NJ it’s only natural) and listens to hip hop from the 90s and early 2000s (it’s a requirement actually). But my “line in the sand” is when a guy pretends that he’s stupid – or actually is. I like my men smart. Sorry, Ryan Lochte, it seems like you, me, and your American flag grill are not meant to be.

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